Selphie Teaches
by DaughterOfSorceress-Lion
Summary: This is Selphies second try at teaching english... last time Quistis had to take over while Squall explained that threatening students with bodily harm is bad. Seifer's in class this year... what could possibly go wrong? Written for a dear friend.


AN: For Ashbear… and please at least read the AN at the bottom, it's funny I promise, then again this entire thing is funny so… read on! And R & R if ya want.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the following:

SQUARE ENIX, PLAYSTATION, SONY, ANY AND ALL OF THE FFVIII GANG, GARDEN, CLASSROOMS, ECT…

Did I miss anything?

* * *

Dabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalp

* * *

Selphie Teaches

"Alright class, time to boogie!" the class did not quiet down… she remembered the last time she did this. A student fell asleep while she was explaining how to sight sources. The aftermath was not pretty… she had conveniently forgotten that Quistis was in the room 'grading her ability to teach.' She didn't know that Squall and Irvine had been watching for their own amusement.

Books were slammed, Rajin threatened, Selphie extracted, along with a serious talk from her boss and her boyfriend who was hiding behind him not wanting to face her wrath. That's when she realized that reading all of the fine print of the teachers do's and don'ts didn't count if she didn't follow it. She would do much better this time. Rajin wouldn't be snoring, nor Fujin there to kick anyone and everyone's ass. Seifer was in this class, yes… but he was an ass anyway, so she would just ignore the guy who was trying to fulfill his remaining credits, so he could at least graduate school… if he failed his next SeeD field exam.

So here she was in the class room, Quistis in the back, and Squall and Irvine… maybe more… watching her second attempt. Plagiarism. She went up to the board and wrote the word out. This was surprisingly effective, the class quieted, no shouting necessary. Who'd of thought? She turned to address the class in her SeeD uniform.

"Plagiarism. We all know what it is, and most of us have probably done it. Today we end all such behavior." A few students snickered, she wouldn't let it bug her. A student raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Well if we all know what it is, why are we talking about it?" The guy next to her continued her train of though.

"And if we know what it is and still do it, why bother talking about it?" They giggled, it was annoying. Down to business.

"Both very good questions. However most do not realize the full intricacy of plagiarism, and may do so without knowing. And if they're caught, they may be punished. Thus it is important to know all aspects of it along with the punishments that will ensue."

Silence, NICE! They were paying attention… even Seifer… and the boy making spitballs in the back… don't let it bug you don't let it bug you don't let it bug you!!!!!!

"Now…" Selphie turned around and wrote on the chalkboard Types of Plagiarism. She spoke as she wrote.

"Exact copy without sighting"

"Paraphrasing without sighting" She turned to face the class.

"These are the most commonly known forms of…"

"Boring!" It was the guy with the spitballs, he didn't raise his hand… he would PAY, she was no doubt red with fury… the guy actually looked slightly alarmed… that was good. Then she saw Quistis… DAMN IT!!!!!!!

"You want fun? Go ahead, have fun Plagiarize because you procrastinated. There are way's to be caught. Databases that scan Databases to match other works. If anything is left unsighted, even just an Idea that was not your own, any form of information and or explanation that are worded, and or paraphrased will get you caught eventually." Seifer was dosing even with her raised voice, luckily he was assigned to sit in the front row. Selphie slammed her hands down on the desk in front of Seifer making him sit upright and he looked very shocked.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME CADET!?" It wasn't a yell, it honestly sounded kind of like her drill Sergeant back in 5th grade. She was proud of that, and the fact that Seifer had very wide, very awake eye's and nodded his head yes infinitesimally.

"good"

The class stared at her… she hoped in awe. She should know better by now, Seifer never left things when he was one down on the score… DAMN IT! He no longer looked shocked, he looked downright cocky… she hated that.

"So what? A friend could help, give you a few sources, BS your works sighted… No teacher's going to look through that!" Had it really been that long since he last had an English class?

"That's what teacher aid's are for Dumb ass!" Quistis gave her a warning look. Whatever! "We look at stuff like that, I've found a lot of people who do stuff like that… and what sucks is when a friend takes it from you and you don't even know it, not even sources, but the writing itself. Even a few years down the line, teachers have a habit of noticing similarities in papers, turn in the same paper your sibling did to the same teacher for the same thing a few years down the line… YOU GET CAUGHT!" Selphie didn't mean to but she was screaming, pointing a very dangerous looking pen at Seifer who was laughing his head off, Quistis was rolling her eye's, and Irvine was hauling her out to a slightly amused, slightly pissed off commander.

The three traveled to his office in silence. Selphie chagrined, Irvine supportive… she had him well trained after a few years… though clearly her own adolescence hadn't worn off quite yet.

"Selphie…"

"I know, and I'm sorry, maybe I'm not cut out for this… it's just that when I was a teachers aid I found someone who had found my essay and turned it in for their own before I did and we had this whole fight back in Trabia and it just hurt… A LOT!" She was pleading with Squall, using her deadly and most feared puppy dog eye's. Squall just sighed, looked at the clock… 11:50 AM. He shook his head and made to leave. He patted Selphie on the shoulder as she looked downward, and he gave Irvine a pitying look.

"Maybe English just isn't your subject."

Squall left them in his office, muttering something about Zell and a cafeteria incident. It took Selphie 3.2 seconds to light up at the idea of raiding Squalls stuff. Unfortunately it took Irvine 2.7 seconds to start pulling her out and closing the door. It locked behind them.

Selphie thought… maybe chemistry… She could blow stuff up and not get in trouble for it… maybe.

* * *

Dabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalpdabsimsiraigalp

* * *

AN: So hope it was funny, and maybe got a point across. It's not my place to say names or place judgment but I felt this needed to go out. This is for Ashbear and everyone else who has suffered the fate that is Plagiarism, along with everyone who has made them suffer from it.

FYI my divider is "plagiarism is bad", but backwards.

Plagiarism…

"DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE…!"

"Selphie go teach your chem. Class." She looks around anywhere but at the readers in embarrassment

"Right… I'll go do that."

Well, same Idea. Don't Plagiarize, the entire FF8 gang agrees with me… Right guys?

"RIGHT!" "Whatever.."

"Squall that word does not work right now!"

Yeah, what Rinoa said. He smirked.

"Yes, plagiarism is for the weak, if you do it, I'll sick Selphie on you."

That's when it becomes deadly… Thanks guys!

"YEP!" "Whatever"

"SQUALL!"

I'm laughing right now.


End file.
